A Wolf Among Wolves

I need a cave. Or a treehouse. Or a yurt.

     I read this piece earlier about Steve Jobs dying. I basically agree with everything said in it, and I especially agree with the point about people deifying a man who made products, luxury products at that. Sure, he was intelligent and perhaps innovative and clearly was inpsired and passionate about the things he did, but at the end of the day these are just goods that you buy because you have leisure time and disposable money and really nothing more. I’m not saying I’m above all of this; I try to live a life that is as detached from consumerism as possible but I still own a smart phone and a laptop (though no apple products other than a second hand first generation iPhone that I only ever used unlocked and jailbroken).
     I was thinking about this while walking through the park today, about being a consumer and capitalism and how much I benefit or don’t benefit from the systems we have in place. I rarely ever buy goods that are new, unless I have something very specific that I need and can’t find second hand. All of my clothes, shoes, etc are bought at thrift stores or resale shops or handmade (with the exception of socks and underwear), I make all of my jewelry that wasn’t given to me as gifts, and really when I try to think about the tangible goods that I buy in general my mind tends to draw a blank. Liquor? Art supplies? Groceries? Even those I wish I didn’t have to buy as often as I do. When I went home for lunch today I had a sandwich with fig jam made from figs grown in my mom’s yard and an asian pear from her tree. I love that. I wish I had that. I love and miss growing things. I want to learn to hunt things. The older I get the more these things become important to me. I used to be very proudly nihilistic, and was pretty damn happy to just blow money on whatever and not think about where my life was going and the things that made me satisfied, because drinking and fucking and going out every night was awesome. And while I still like those things as part of my life, I definitely do not care to have them be the whole of my life. This nihilist got bored. Ha.
     My feelings on consumerism and capitalism are not about making any sort of stand against anything, I just do what I think to be reasonable and respectful, and still somehow I feel like I’m so at odds with most of the people I encounter. Seriously, the less I spend on “things” the better I feel. The idea of “shopping therapy” is completely foreign and gross to me. At least once a week I get the urge to give away most of the stuff I do own. I read this article about a guy who decided to spend no money for a year and my first thought was “God I wish I could do that”, though I don’t think I could do it the way he did it. I don’t think I’m better than anyone for feeling this way, the things that make me happy just tend to be different than most people. I would rather be outside than inside any day of the week. I would rather be out having experiences and adventures and staring at trees looking for birds. I can seriously spend hours just staring at trees. Or finding dead things and stealing their skulls. If I could give up my phone I would. I like the internet for information but could absolutely live without it and most of the time I spend so much time on it because I’m bored, and I live in a city, and I can’t go run around at night by myself in the park or at the beach without some possibly dangerous consequences. Right now I’m posting this because I’m getting paid to sit at a desk and surf the internet and I’m tethered here for two more hours. I would *much* rather be outside in the rain trying to catch the apparently sick raccoon that is terrorizing visitors. Really. That is happening right now. Ha.
     I don’t know if there is much of a point to this, this is just stuff that’s really been on my mind over the past few months, and I’ve been thinking heavily on it today. Basically what I’m saying is who wants to run away and live in a treehouse with me? <3
Edit: Especially if it’s one of THESE (Thanks Ranger Craig!)

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